I used to see a bright loving girl whom i never thought could offer so much, that girl was me.
chan rak ter..
It pains me to think back how much we've gone through. It pains me to realise that nothing have changed. And that I'm still the one holding on while he lets go. I didn't stop loving him, not even a bit. It pains me to know everything was built on a lie after all. It pains me to know I'm the only one in love after all. If only you could see yourself in my eyes, you would never look at me the same again. Despite how broken I've been, I still find the strength to love you. I overlooked your flaws and love you beyond your imperfections.. because I see you as someone who brings out the best in me. But all this feelings I have inside of me, I shall keep it to myself. Because people change and more than often not a single thing could make them change their mind. You appeared in my dream every single night. I may not be your type, I may not be what you expected, I may not be good enough for you. Its okay. Its perfectly okay. Because I was dumb. Because I was right from the start.. That lucky girl would never be me. What was I thinking? I'll never be pretty enough or smart or beautiful enough for you. What goes through your mind when you held my hand? How do you feel being around me? What was that feeling when you knew I was going out with somebody else? Most importantly, why do you see a future with someone you don't love? I do have tons of flaws. I have been this way for the past months you have known me. I was the same person I'd been all this while. I was that same girl you held hands with. I was that same girl you chased over. I didn't change, not a bit. Until the day you start realising whats love, you'll stop blaming yourself. But please know that if there comes a day whereby I need to walk away, it was never what I wanted, but because I had to. Leaving you was never a part of me, Charlie.
