sleepless nights
Lets pretend that for the last few months i have not been the kind of person who resorts to wishing on the ridiculous 11:11 or hurting myself by cutting. Lets pretend that life has been going on perfectly well. My love for school has abate over time. Times like this i can safely say that i have been abandoning my duties and countless times i have reminded myself i cant abdicate such responsibility. My ornery to sleep early at night have caused me to become a real cranky and uptight person lately. Although i have always hated home where mom is nowhere to be found, i still anticipate going home to indulge in my helper's scrumptious cooking everyday after school.I had to admit i was on the verge of seeking serious help from the school Councillor but thanks to my mulish attitude i just could not bring myself to it. Its been months ever since i last written a blog. That dream of mine which is to publish a book by the age of 21 has slowly diminished. I got too busy that i didn't really know where i was heading in life. Those 'future' talks seem eerie and bloodcurdling. A damage i would not want my brain to undergo resulting in thoughts that will only keep me up all night.
The fact that i'm still 16 and have yet to even complete my studies. Lets not talk about the future what about a year from now, would i still be breathing. Life is to short, live it well, live for today. Yep got that from a book i read a few months back.
Currently i'm hooked to this book called "After You" A deep beautiful story which talks about the life of Sophie who lost her mom. How it turned her life upside down. The fact that her dad have secretly fallen in love with her mom's best friend simply added salt to her wound. She grew up however to become a brave and strong woman. I could somehow relate parts of the story especially during her early years. Reading stories about what happen to others have the ability to make me forget about mine even for just a little while.
I am forgetting something today, its pay day!!!!!! Been quite prodigal lately. I really need to contain my spending but how. I shall eradicate the post now before i spout more nonsence goodnight xx
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